Aku memang sangat suka dirimu
Tapi aku ada yang punya
Lebih baik kita berteman, kita berteman saja
Teman tapi mesra.

-Ratu Indon

It's just like rice. You eat it like the rest of the asian population. Once in a while you can skip it, but in the end you still have to eat it. Even though rice in general is plain in taste, since you are really dependent on it, you put some meat or vegetables on the side to help you swallow that rice you have been consuming from when you had your first tooth. And as you have other options, you sometimes crave for other genre of food but at the end of the day, you will seek rice as your savior.

Just put yourself on the fucking plate, would you rather be the rice or the side dishes? Of course you dont want to be any of them, you just want to eat them. But in the real world, you dont get to choose, but the fate will determine which are you. Too bad if you are the rice but fortunately, not all are aware of it that they may live happily together forever without knowing what is really happening behind the scene.

But it's a small world and people see and talk. No matter where the other person go or what the other person say, you will know. This works hand in hand with your instinct, and when the same shit happened many times, your instinct gets stronger and you best  believe it.

Sincerely,

ps: All this talking about rice is making me hungry. Can I get through the day fasting? It's for me to know and for you to mind your own fucking business.

Blah.

Forget those tutors/profs you slept with in order to get that grades,
when it comes to finding a job,if you dont have good looks, you are pretty much screwed, unless you have excellent bulshitting skills but useful only in the interview after your resume gets picked by that horny hr executive who fantasizes about office scandal all the time hoping to get some action.

So for those who are still in college, close your books and go out and have fun. Do whatever things that you can think of. Because when you are out in the real world, you will rarely get a chance to even think about having fun. You get stressed out everyday, at work, on the road, at home, everywhere that you will think committing suicide is justified.

Back to finding a job, employers are too busy to analyze every resume' they'll just browse through piles of resume and get the first impression of the applicants by looking at the attached pictures. So if you have looks that are above the average, you can start planning the lies to say for the interviews the minute you send out your applications.

How do you know if you are good-looking? Well, if you have to think about it that means you are not. And your parents' opinions dont count as they will never have the heart to tell how ugly you are.

Even though beauty is subjective, dont take that chance. Do something to get that interview. One way is that instead of putting your own picture, put the picture of somebody who is actually good looking.

"Ok Syah, lemme have your picture for my resume weh, kasi ong sikit."  Well, dont count on it. I, for one, am not too crazy about my appearance and I can't care less. But recently I feel somewhat better, especially when I'm behind the steering wheel, driving my red hot Neo. Trust me when I say that there aren't dry panties inside the car I'm driving. Maybe they are just scared of my P status that they wet their pants but who cares, I think what i want.

Say you got some model to pose for your resume, then because of that you were  called for an interview. Imagine the frustration you would have caused in the interview room. And you'd end up embarassing yourself, and your family. So dont ever do that.
So for those with ordinary looks, your picture won't help you get the job. But a resume without a picture is like a resume sent to apply work in most developed countries, where they dont discriminate based on appearance, gender,race,religion, and sexual orientation. Doesn't work that way in Malaysia, unfortunately.

So what you do is hide a big portion of your face (with a towel or something) and make it obvious you are doing it. By doing this you are actually creating the element of surprise so whoever comes across your resume will be tempted to see you in person. They'll be dying to know the person behind the mask. They won't rest until they can figure out what's wrong with you, either you are being creative or just plain stupid. The bottom line is, they'll have no choice but to arrange an interview for you so you can tell them where you see yourself in 5 years, but, if you are taking this suggestion seriously, you are not gonna have 5 years.


I just started letting myself to be found by other employers as I am tired of doing absolutely nothing here in the office. Not being serious just yet, I sent out my resumes like the one below to many companies and to my surprise, one company called to setup an interview. Apparently it's a factory and they want somebody who has no problem wearing mask all the time. Wow wii...


Selamat berpuasa dan selamat hari raya to all, maaf zahir batin. Blah.

Finally the big boss decided to withdraw us from the competition in which we were supposed to give presentation, have the people from the committee coming to see the system that I created in action, and provide real statistics about the improvement brought by the system. Fortunately, we had a good excuse for withdrawing as the server hosting the system crashed a month ago. The truth is, the server crash was never the problem. The decision was made due to the lack of collaboration among team members and poor communication between me and that scumbag I call boss.

He was such a dumbass, he e-mailed the competition committee with the intention to save his ass, but in turn, the e-mail proved to be a statement of his stupidity, group-wide, because no matter how he tried to blame somebody, it was obvious that it's his fault. It's bad enough that we in the office had to bear with his existence, now people from every company think that our big boss is stupid for hiring him. Too bad, he had already been confirmed when he started to make it obvious that he's retarded.

A couple months ago, he convinced the big boss that the intranet system that I created single-handedly was very good and had a shot at winning the competition. At that time he was just trying to regain his reputation since he wasted tens of thousands of the company's money for his field trip to the UK. When the management expected some good ideas from the trip, he just showed his pictures with those famous palace guards, told us about the hot girls he saw on the street and the strip clubs he went to. The fucker thought that he was on vacation.

The big boss then gave my boss the green light, and my boss told me that i was to be 100% responsible for the preparation. To most people this shows trust, but to me he was just too lazy to do anything other than taking all the credits for all my hard work. So decided that I wouldn't do anything.

I was tired of his vague orders. Working under him, I had to think so much my hair started to fall off and hair is all I have to feel sexy.

It's true that I am a genius, but I am also lazy, inorganized, and unmotivated. I need a boss who can give me clear work structure, well understood instruction and compliment once in a while. Because being the lowest level exec, I believe I am paid to work, not to think. If I was to use my brain, they would have to pay me a lot more, i would be a millionaire on the third pay.

Our department was not performing very well and he led people to believe that it was all my fault. He accused me of being reckless when the server crashed, he sent me an e-mail with a cc to the big boss highlighting all the negative things about me. He even threatened to fire me since I was still in probation.

I dont think anybody in the office are on his side though. Just by looking at his curly hair and child-hungry smile, people will know he is full of shit spot on. He has lunch by himself since nobody can stand his presence. There are jerks that you can pretend to be friend with but not him.

Even so all my colleagues were worried, they told me to try my best to be nice to him, that's how office politics work they said."Awak tuh, mentimun, dia tu durian, golek macamana pon ko awak gak yang kena." That's how they put it.

Well, kissing his hairy, stinking ass is not an option to me, not with a gun pointed to my head, I'd still rather die with dignity. Instead, I lightly tap every ass in the office, respectfully, and with an investment of 3 ringgit to buy goreng pisang for the staff every Friday, I have won their hearts.

So last week, when my boss reported to the big boss about my incompetent, he didn't jump to a conclusion. He investigated carefully, by asking everyone in the office. As it turned out, they all told nice stories about me and somehow implied that my boss was the incompetent one. So my boss spent half a day in the big boss' office. They were loud and I could hear my name being mentioned a couple times. The next day my boss took an emergency leave and mc the day after. I guess in the world of bureaucracy, democracy still rules and people's voice is still heard. And in conclusion, I win.

"wah, best sial citer ko, boleh buat movie nih, nanti aku nak print bagi kat afdlin shauki, dia tggl dekat ngan umah aku. Aku kenal gak beberapa org pelakon yg boleh jadi heroin. hari tuh aku jumpa nora danish kat hartamas, pastu fasha sandha kat gas station."
"takyah aaa bai. my life is not for show. Nyum-nyum..."

Blah.

"Ok, tell us about yourself."
"My name is Syah.."
"Say no more. You are that genius from Kuala Penyu, right? You are hired"

That's how the interview went in my head before I actually came and found myself in a very big disappointment. Apparently, people are still unaware of my exceptional skills that after one year in the work force I was still asked lame ass questions that they ask fresh graduates who are desperate for jobs.  The only different was that I didn't really care if I got the job although I still had to impress the interviewers and not sully my friend's name who recommended me.

People always ask why I complaint about my job so much. And having no work ethic, I tell them that the company I currently work for doesn't allow me to grow, I learn nothing new and my job is not challenging enough. But then, do I really want to grow? Do I want to learn something new? Do I like to be challenged? I don't think so. In fact, what I have now is the kind of job many people dream of but shy to admit it.

It's true that in the beginning I was a bit frustrated since I expected myself to play an important role and do things that actually matter. The fact is I barely have to use 0.01 percent of my full potential at work which is really a total waste since I have a brain that's worth close to RM 1 million. It kills me to think that given a computer, the cleaner lady can also do what I do. 

The reason I came to that interview the other day is not so much because I want the job but to feel good about myself  that I can choose and am in control of my decision, which means I don't do what I do because I have to, but because I chose to do so. And I can choose to quit my job when I finally get tired of my flexi-necked boss. Right now I still find him quite amusing. Topping that off, it's really cool that what i do at work is kind of a mystery, even to me(johnny depp, secret window).

When in college, like other Malaysian students, I was willing to drive for hours just so I could order a so-so nasik lemak (which tasted extremely delicious then), and a bowl of overpriced cendol at one of a few Malaysian restaurants in the US. Now that I am here where there are many types of food to choose from, I can't seem to remember the last time I had nasik lemak and to this day I'm settled with just nasik puteh and telur dadar and occasional kerang rebus for every dinner. Even so, I have to know for a fact that all those food are out there and I can have them whenever I want to. It keeps my mind at peace that I have a choice, even though I don't really need it.

With love it's a different story. We can't choose who we want to love. Love chooses us, which is why it is so wonderful.  And that's why there are a lot of mismatched couples out there. And for the very same reason I can never blame Judd for his weird obsession with guys wearing tights. I just hope someday he will realize that a woman should not have hairy chest, that he should get rid of all of it to complete his transformation.

And someone I know, who calls himself Pokdeng for some reason and has many celebrity friends, once told me, "When it comes to love, don't go for someone you can live with, go for someone you can't live without." And I happen to know who I can't live without. Selamat Hari Kasih-Mengasihi Antara Satu Sama Lain.

Damn, I thought Judd and Pokdeng were two different people. Fuck him.Blah.

Wahaha, what a fucked up year. The only accomplishment i've had  thats worth to brag about is getting 9A's in PMR. Wait, that's my brother, the youngest one. However, I'd like to think that I have contributed something to help him achieve that. Seriously.
As for myself, I dont see or feel any different after all this time. Well, at least now I have a fan. A ceiling fan that I installed myself after 3 months discussion with the landlord from which I learned that the best way to get something done is by doing it myself. Wow, I'm genius,
Still in the first week of 2006, i think its not too late to list down a couple of things to guide me through the year.

To do

1. To live through 2006 new year's countdown.
2. Lookup the html code to make a sentence appear to be crossed out as to say that it is done and no longer relevant, just like the item above, below and this one as well.
3. To think of something to aim for to lead a more meaningful life in the future.
4. come to work early, work even harder and impress the bosses to the extent that they have to give me a raise to free themselves of guilty feelings.
5. Stop complaining about my low salary. Instead, I'll give them what they are paying me for which will give me more time for me to think of ways to get side income. Have to bear in mind that saving is an income.
6. Cut down on smoking from one pack a day to just one. Sexy. I'll save about RM130 permonth and my lungs will finally be as strong as new. Grrr....
7. Cook my own dinner. I'm tired of eating at the same restaurant every night. Not that it's the only restaurant but I just dont want to try the others.
8. Spend more time with grandma.
9. Learn to speak and write Chinese.
10. No more being a wussy.Start acting like a real man like John McClane, Tony Montana, and Harun Salim Bachik(to name a few).They kick a$$!
11. Go on a fishing trip regularly(real fishing and real fish, goreng pun sodap)
12. Clean my apartment every night before going to bed.

To get

1. A car, I think I am ready to drive after almost 2 years of rest. I should get the one with manual transmission so both my hands are occupied and avoid one of them touching things that aren't supposed to be touched while driving.Hope to be financially ready in 3 months time.
2. My friend told me that I had to get a driving license to drive a car. What a surprise. Well, there's still room in my already thick wallet for that and I kinda miss being in school. Will start looking for a driving school this weekend.
3. A fridge.
4. A washing machine.
5. A computer and an internet connection at home to help me brush up on my hacking talents, which I want to clarify, is not limited to hacking adult sites and the likes.  Oh, also so that I can update my blog more often, just like some people I know.hahaha.
6. Astro? on second thought, mampus aaa...
7. A hamster. Damn, Im lonely, just like Akon.
8. My degree. Even though I dont really need it now, but it'll be nice to have something to put up on my empty wall. Also a way for me to impress people, a proof that I've been there and done that.

To maintain

1. My dignity. Believe it or not, I still have it.

Wah, I'm trying too hard it's pathetic. And it's even more pathetic that I can't pronounce the word 'pathetic' correctly. Hope I spelled it right, though. Mekap tebal.Blah.