"Demi matahari dan cahayanya di pagi hari.
Demi bulan apabila mengiringinya.
Demi siang apabila meneranginya.
Demi malam apabila menutupinya.
Demi langit serta pembinannya.
Demi bumi serta hamparannya.
Demi jiwa serta penyempurnaannya (ciptaannya).
Maka Kami ilhamkan kepada jiwa itu jalan kefasikan dan jalan ketakwaan.
Beruntunglah mereka yang menyucikan jiwa itu.
Dan merugilah mereka yang mengotorinya."
(as-Syams : 1-10)
Bukan Gambar Sebenar
saya dikenali dengan nama awang, jang, syah, IQ dan sekarang ni shaz. saya berasal dr sebuah kampung di kuala penyu sabah.saya ada 7 adik-beradik. saya yang keempat.saya sekolah rendah di sekolah rendah di sana. kemudian saya masuk tingkatan satu di sekolah berasrama penuh sabah. sekarang sekolah itu dikenali dengan nama sekolah menengah sains sabah. Lepas spm, saya sambung pula belajar di pppitm selama setahun. selepas itu, saya menggunakan duit rakyat utk melanjutkan pelajaran di Indiana University Bloomington selama 4 tahun. Oleh kerana saya tidak pandai, saya terpaksa sambung setengah tahun lagi untuk menyiapkan projek tahun akhir.Kemudian saya balik. Kerana tidak tahan menganggur selama lima bulan, saya pun menguatkan semangat untuk berhijrah ke kuala lumpur untuk mencari pekerjaan. setelah sebulan, saya pun diterima bekerja di sebuah syarikat pembinaan di sini. saya sangat gembira.Oleh kerana saya gembira, berat badan saya sudah tambah 2 kilo. Emak saya sendiri yang cakap masa balik kampung hari tu. Saya juga sedang berusaha untuk mengurangkan tabiat merokok. tabiat itu sangat membazir dan saya pun belum cukup kaya untuk membazir
Losing my only watch early this year was a loss that I could live with although it needed some time to get used to. Being a lefty, wearing the watch gave an appropriate weight to my left hand for good balance between my right and left hand.
And now I feel even better about not having a watch. No need to be fully aware of time progressing. Understanding of the fact that time never stops is enough. I dont want to see it in front of me getting smaller and smaller leaving me far behind. Catching up with it seems impossible and surely complaining about how fast time goes by will not help.
The right and only thing I could do is to buy me a new pair of running shoes and enjoy running with her. Run as long as I can, and occasionally stop when she needs to catch her breath. Impress her with my having great stamina despite of my smoking habit.
And thats what ive been doing. Sometimes the urge to run fast hits, especially when I get reminded of the checkpoints time has passed by, and when it does, I push my body beyond limit and get hurt.
I dont want to have to run against time. I have better luck chasing my dreams, one at a time. With no pressure, my dreams will soon be her dreams too. And time will slow down.
Some say love, it is a river, That drowns, the tender reed. Some say love, it is a razor, that leaves, your soul to bleed. Some say love, it is a hunger, An endless aching need. I say love, it is a flower, And you it's only seed.
It's the heart, afraid of breaking, That never, learns to dance. It's the dream, afraid of waking, That never, takes the chance. It's the one, who won't be taken, Who cannot, seem to give. And the soul, afraid of dying, That never, learns to live.
When the night, has been too lonely, And the road, has been too long. And you feel, that love is only, for the lucky, and the strong. Just remember, in the winter, Far beneath, the bitter snow, Lies a seed, that with the sun's love, In the spring, becomes a rose...
I remember going to David Copperfield's show about ten years ago. It was great to finally see him doing his magic, live, as i was finally able to confirm that no camera trick was involved. Every act was better than before and I slept with my mouth open that night.
Even though there are rumors associating his ability with the help of supernatural beings, I believe most of his works are done by creating illusion so amazing, people don't mind being lied to. That is magic.
The magician offered to let me in on her secret but I refused as I did not want anything to be in the way of me enjoying the show with me in it as a participating member of the audience. I trusted her to decide when it was really necessary for me to know what she wanted me to know. I was giving her the benefit of the doubt while giving myself the benefit of really enjoying the 'relationship' guilt-free. It was very selfish of me to keep her from telling me the truth. It must have been hell for her.
The inevitable has happened. As much as I wished the other guy to be the recipient of the bad news, I couldn't really complain when it turned out to be me. I knew that what we had had an expiration date and it would be irresponsible for us to continue past it. I have sort of given up on ever-lasting love long time ago and have been used to being in short-lived romance episodes sometimes even without the girls being aware they were in them.
Knowing the truth, I am confident that I can still win her heart, if I fight for it. But I'd hate myself if I did that, and I need to be able to love myself since no one else can.
Tatap matamu bagai busur panah Yang kau lepaskan ke jantung hatiku Meski kau simpan cintamu masih Tetap nafasku wangi hiasi suasana Saat kau kecup manis bibirmu
Cintaku tak harus, miliki dirimu Meski perih mengiris, iris segala janji
Aku berdansa diujung gelisah Diiringi syahdu lembut lakumu Kau sebar benih anggun jiwamu Namun kau tiada, menuai buah cintaku Yang ada hanya sekuntum rindu
--Roman Picisan, Dewa 19
It was too good to be true. It sure felt real, though. Or else id never have realized that there's some part me still longing for that magical connection. Dying, yes. Suffering, of course. But nothing true love cannot cure. One day.
I am the most optimistic person i know, after all.
This is a story about a friend named Asrif, who also responds to the name Ass-rif, or Ass-fuck. We used to meet every weekend and almost every other day until about a little over year ago when he fell in love.
He has a great voice which sounds even better when he sings. Maybe it is because he is black.
He is an excellent story teller. I have seen girls who literally drool listening to him speak, and it's not hard to imagine that some girls would masturbate to his blog. He is that good and again,maybe because he is black.
He is a virgin (not for long now) which has nothing to do with his skin color. He is just a great guy with the kindest heart. And for that he got rewarded with heaven on earth, he met his soulmate.
I have known the guy for years. It was intimidating at first as he kept using rap slang which he did effortlessly. But as he frequented my apt to learn html from my roommate then, i grew to tolerate his stupid jokes and lies. and when he took a sip of that Coke mixed with my cigarretes' ashes, I knew that we're gonna be brothers forever.
We share the same life principle, that it should be simple. I like everything simple because I pretty much have to due to limited resource. But he on the other hand, keeps it simple by choice. I respect him for that. Also with the talents he has, he could have gone on different routes, and would have been successful in any of them. A little more effort, Fed Hi would be more famous than it already is. Not a very creative name for a blues band but they are good.
It was Friday night when he wasn't there with us trying to make us laugh. He was on a date at some sushi place with a girl he met at lunch earlier that week. I didn't give it much thought and assumed that he was just horny, just like the rest of them losers. Had I known that that date was the beginning of something very beautiful, deep and meaningful, well, I still wouldnt do anything about it.
Weeks went by without news from him. Maybe he did tell me what was going on with him then over the phone. Maybe I just didn't care enough to remember. Then one day, after a series of cancellations, there he was and standing next to him was this sweet, beautiful girl with a smile to die for. the way Yaya look at him, I could tell that she was really into him. Couldn't really see Asrif then as we were at the movies and it was dark, but knowing him, I knew that he was crazy about the girl. Would hv whispered to him right then and there about how lucky they were to have found each other but could not turn my head away from the screen not wanting to miss any scene from the movie twilight tbat was playing. What a great movie that was.
"Aku rasa she's the one la Wang. Aku jatuh cinta terus sudah." The first thing?he said?when we met for the first time in months to which I did not respond. I was dissappointed as I thought we could talk about something other than him being in love. Or he could hv told me if he'd been getting some, because it had been a while for me. And I would settle with some updates in the porn industry. But no, he kept talking about this amazing wonderful feeling he was having.?When I thought he was done talking, he took a deep breath, pointed to the sun and said, "cantik bukan sunset itu?" As if that wasn't awkward enough, he then went on and announced the end of his 20-year relationship with his left hand? and retirement from being Avy Scott's no 1 fan. Ass-rif dah byk berubah!
A few more days to his wedding and I can't be more excited. Truth is, the wedding is all my friends and I talk about for months now even though most of them are more interested in the night after the wedding. And I am really looking forward to attending the wedding, to celebrate the unity of two most beautiful souls ive ever known and be part of history.
I have learned a lot from these two lovebirds. From watching them talk and look at each other, from what Ass-rif has told me the three or four times we hung out last year, what he told me last weekend, and what they write to each other on Twitter which requires a dictionary of love to understand. From them ive learned that true love exists, and it doesnt have to be complicated.
loser yg mengapdet blog di malam raya yg mengasyikkan
"Your name reminded me of you. Because obviously that is your name. So when I see your name, i ll always be reminded of someone, the owner of that particular name. You. You with your own name." -Izzudin Ab Rahim, CLEO's 51st most eligible bachelor
I had 2 weeks to talk myself out of it while i could just wait and let nature run its course like i always do. Nyot nyot nyot. Maybe it's just not meant to be. Blah.
Hujan yg turun sejak petang tadi sudah berhenti. yg tggl cuma titis-titis kecil air yg berlumba-lumba utk terjun dr atap ke muka bumi. Atau longkang. Bulan bersembunyi di balik awan gelap. Bintang-bintang tidak kelihatan... suasana damai. sesekali kelihatan kumpulan anak2 gadis, tubuh dilitupi telekung berjalan sopan menuju ke dewan besar.
Mlm kebiasaannya dewan itu sepi dan gelap gelita, malam itu meriah. terang benderang. Sebagaiman lima malam sebelumnya. kerusi-kerusi yg biasnya memenuhi dewan diganti dgn hamparan tikar dan sejadah. ruang dalam dewan dipenuhi dgn pelajar-pelajar lelaki dan perempuan, warden2 dan sebilangan cikgu.
Di satu sudut berdekatan dgn tabir pemisah antara jemaah lelaki dan wanita, Abu duduk bersila dgn kepalanya menghadap ke lantai. Wajahnya kelihatan runsing.
Tidak lama kemudian matanya terarah kepada susuk tubuh seorang cikgu yg sedang tekun membaca kitab himpunan hadith. Terpancar cahaya ketenagan dr riak mukanya. mungkin datang dari keikhlasan mendidik anak2 bangsa dan kesungguhannya dlm menegakkan syiar islam d bumi borneo itu. perwataannya sederhana dan pertuturan lembut walapupun kadangkala tajam menusuk.
Adunan bunyi-bunyi dari bacaan al-quran, bisik2 halus dan manja dari sebelah tabir dan suara-suara dr kumpulan-kumpulan yg rancak berbual terhenti, memberi laluan untuk azan isyak.alunan suara lembut tapi bertenaga, butiran ayat2 jelas dan tegas memuji kebesaran ilahi memecah keheningan.
Azan tamat. Inilah masanya, fikir Abu. Perlahan-perlahan mendekati cikgu itu yg kini sudah menutup kitab tebal berwarna putih itu.
"cikgu, sia mau tanya sikit bulih ka? dlm bulan puasa, syaitan, iblis kena ikat bah kan? Habis kenapa masi juga ada orang jahat, mencuri dan sebagainya?"
"oh. sebelum cikgu jawab soalan tu cikgu nak tanya dulu. sekarang dah berapa tahun negara kita merdeka? "
"Suda 37 tahun mungkin, cikgu. Sia rasa lah."
"Betul. Sedihnya, masih ramai lagi antara kita yg masih dijajah mindanya. Ratusan tahun dibelenggu penjajahan telah sedikit sebanyak menghakis keyakinan diri utk maju sendiri. Dalam diri setiap kita terdapat rasa kagum terhadap negara-negara bekas penjajah ini hinggakan kita gigih meniru mereka dan ada masanya mengorbankan nilai-nilai kita sendiri untuk mencapai taraf moden mengikut definisi mereka.
Mereka kata fenomena y2k akan mengakibatkan kerosakan yg besar, kita percaya. mereka kata Iraq menyembunyikan Weapon of Mass Destruction pun kita angguk sahaja."
"Tapi cikgu, y2k tu apa? dan sia tida paham tu pasal Weapon of Mass Destruction tu."
"Tak mengapa Abu, Syah sedang cuba menulis secara kreatif. Sambungan pada penerangan cikgu tadi, itulah tamsilannya bagi peranan iblis dalam megnhasut manusia ke arah kejahatan."
tamsilan tu apa pula cikgu? soal Abu dalam hati. kalau disuarakan takut tambah panjang lagi ceramah dari cikgu kesayangannya itu.
"Iblis dan syaitan-syaitan bekerja keras menggoda manusia kepada kemungkaran. Bersejentakan hiburan yg mengasyikkan, muzik yang melalaikan, wanita-wanita yg menggiurkan dalam cubaan utk membuatkan manusia lupa pada janji mereka kepada yg Maha Pencipta. Mereka bekerja tanpa henti untuk memastikan manusia sukakan maksiat, bencikan ibadat. Helah yg dipakai adakalanya besar dan jelas, tapi selalunya amat halus yg mana lebih bahaya dan besar mudharatnya.
Dan di bulan ramadhan, walaupun syaitan dan iblis diikat atau dirantai, hati yg sudah biasa lalai, nafsu yg sentiasa dibelai manja mengambil alih peranan untuk terus menghanyutkan manusia di dalam noda kemaksiatan."
Iqamat bergema dan jemaah perlahan-perlahan memenuhi saf-saf depan.
"Terimakasih, cikgu, Sia faham suda sikit2." kata Abu yg sedang menahan diri daripada menguap. Dia masih berpendapat yg soalannya dapat dijawab dgn satu ayat ringkas bukan panjang berjela lengkap dgn tamsilan. Ketika itu dia tidak sedar apa yg diterangkan cikgu itu tadi mungkin dapat juga dijadikan bahan utk ditulisnya 15 tahun akan datang, walaupun butirannya agak kabur, ketika bosnya tiada di pejabat dan tggl 4 jam lagi sbl berbuka puasa.
Kini kerunsingan sudah berkurang. Abu sudah mula redha dgn kehilangan buku komik Dragon Ball yg baru dibelinya. Sesiapapun yg mengambilnya, apa pun alasannya, mungkin mereka lebih memerlukannya. Lagipun, Abu sudahpun selesai membacanya, meskipun masih belum puas.
Soalan sudah terjawab, keetnangan sedikit terasa namun kekhusyukkan solatnya masih terganggu. Sudah masuk rakaat kelima tarawih fikirannya masih khayal meniti baris-baris lirik dari lagu yg belum ditulis oleh sebuah kumpulan yg mungkin belum wujud ketika itu
Ketika jiwamu ... merasuk ke dalam Aliran darahku dan meracuniku ... Ketika jiwamu ... memeluk hatiku Dan biarkan jiwaku ... cumbui jiwamu
Went to have my timing belt replaced last week. It was about time according to the manual. Almost changed my mind when the timing belt was finally in view as it looked flawless. I really thought it could go for another 20k km or so even though the mechanics didn't seem to agree. it took them a good half an hour to convince me to replace it as I was under the impression that they were just after my money. Finally, fear for my life,i nodded, giving them the go-ahead. and slowly they put away the wrenches that they were gonna use to whack some sense into my head a minute before.
As they continued to work the engine, putting the belt and everything, my mind started to wander and appropriately set to the first time i laid my eyes on the car in that show room.
It was instant chemistry and it's safe to say that it was love at first sight, even though my true love had always been Lamborghini something. But hey, with what i made back then, I was lucky that there was a bank that would approve my loan.
One week later, I was already on the driver seat getting honked at for the first time. It took me a month to get used to the car, and the ever confusing roads of Kuala Lumpur.
I drove by myself most of the time accompanied by the songs from my mix cd, fully aware of how uneconomical and bad for the environment it was. But there was nothing i could do. My car just wasn't very inviting to those looking for a ride.
On rare occasions, I did hv somebody riding with me for reasons I didn't really want to know. It was good enough i had somebody to talk to, and help me navigate as I didn't have a good sense of direction, as evident throughout the course of my life. We'd exchange stories, wait. Not really. Actually, I'd listen to her stories, her views on life, etc. Very interesting stories indeed and almost always inspiring. And when it was my turn to talk, I'd just tell some stupid jokes. And she had no choice but to laugh or else I'd kick her ass out of the car. Zasss!!!
Just when i thought there was something going on between us, her journey with me would come to an end, and i had to let her go.And then it was just me and the car. I continued driving and hoped for the next passenger to be somebody that i could drive around forever. And share gas money with. Or not. Whatever.
The car has served me since 2006 and never failed me once. Oh actually, it has failed once, but that was when my sister borrowed it. And since i wasn't around then, she had to pay for the new battery. And I never plan to pay her back. Hahaha. Other than that, my car has been great even though i am not very generous when it comes to maintenance, which i always do at the very last minute with the cheapest possible option.
So thank you. Thank you for getting me where i wanted to be, to be there for me when nobody else would, to stay strong and sexy even after hitting that dog to its death. RM 600 was a small price to pay for all that you have done.. and its not even PROTON original parts. One day once I have enough money, i'll get you a new, much better engine so you won't feel so small parking next to Zara. Oh, I have yet to give you a name. I will soon. Boo Kean Soon
Right now there's somebody on the passenger seat who i hope is headed for the same destination as i am. And i haven't asked where she wants to go as I am terrified of what her answer might be. Living in denial is not so bad....
What the fuck? Putu piring accumulated give it a try merangkul Pakcik Wassup. Blah.